Soiree of the Heart
by liviafan1
Summary: If there's one thing she knows, it's that she can't deny Rick Castle anything.
1. Chapter 1

Soiree of the Heart

**Disclaime**r: ...Yeah, right.

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><p>If there's one thing she knows, it's that she can't deny Rick Castle anything.<p>

Well, _now_, anyway. She'd had no problem doing so in the beginning when he first started shadowing her, but things were different now. _She_ was different now.

He'd bounced in the precinct on an early December morning, spouting off his plans for an unforgettable Christmas/New Years party. After she made a show of reluctantly agreeing to come, he'd promised it would be his best party yet.

Unfortunately for him (and her, although she'd never admit it), murder had a way of interfering with their social calendar. There was no rest for psychopaths on the holidays, he'd noted sourly. He'd moved the date of his soiree five times before he'd conceded to defeat.

"I give up," he groans now, head slumped dramatically upon his palm during their short dinner break.

"You don't have to be here, Castle. You could have the party without us." Her words are empty and he knows it. She doesn't really want him to have his party without the 12th there (and she knows he doesn't either), but she still feels compelled to suggest it, anyway.

"Don't be ridiculous, Beckett. What kind of party is it without real friends there?"

She snorts. "Practically all of Manhattan knows who you are, Castle. I doubt we're your only friends."

He shrugs. She stares at him a little as she sips her latte. She puts her coffee down and clears her throat.

"Don't give up, Castle. Sometimes things have a way of working themselves out." She feels his gaze on her, but can't bring herself to meet it. She smirks a little and grabs a pen, uncapping it with her mouth. She scribbles a note on the open file.

"I should get going. I promised Alexis we'd eat a hot meal together tonight."

She nods. "I'll see you in the morning?"

"Yeah. Good night."

"Night, Castle." She watches him walk towards the elevator, posture slumped ever so slightly. Her words have done little to reassure him. She shakes her head and glances up at the murder board. Maybe if there's a break in the case, she can surprise him.

Maybe.

* * *

><p>They catch a break at the close of the next day, much to Castle's delight.<p>

"I can have the champagne chilling in a matter of hours and the hors d'oeuvres ready by the time you get there."

Ryan and Esposito's eyes quickly flick to hers. She silences them with a finger to the lips.

"Sorry, man. Jenny and I have dinner with her parents tonight. Finalizing some wedding plans."

Castle's eyes dim a little, but look hopefully towards Esposito, who shakes his head. "Gotta stay late to finish some paperwork. Sorry, bro."

Kate stands behind Castle, fiddling nonchalantly with a few things on her desk. She sucks in a breath, waits for it. She hopes she can pull it off.

He spins around. "Kate?"

She can hear it in his voice. His last hope.

"Sorry, Castle. I promised my dad we'd get together whenever this madness stopped." She gestures around the precinct with a wave of her hand.

He nods once and forces a smile. Her heart breaks a little. "I'll leave you guys to it then." He makes his way to the elevator without another word. She suppresses the urge to blurt out her whole plan then and there.

"You sure about this, Beckett?" Esposito asks.

She turns to him and nods. "I'll see you guys tonight."

She makes a quick stop at the market to pick up a few things before setting up her apartment. She hadn't had any time to tear down any of her holiday decorations, including the Christmas tree, which was perfect for what she had in mind for tonight.

Later, she stands in front of her closet wrapped in a fluffy blue towel. She really should've thought of this before. She flicks a hand over the hangers in her closet, humming in disapproval. She grabs her phone off the dresser and punches in a number, sticking the phone between her ear and shoulder as she continues to analyze the contents of her closet.

"I have nothing to wear," she grumbles when she hears Lanie answer her phone. The medical examiner laughs in her ear.

"What about that purple Herve Leger dress you wore to the Heat Wave launch?"

Kate rolls her eyes. "I don't wanna wear something he's already seen me in."

"_He? _Dressing to impress a certain writer, are we?"

"I just…want to look nice." Kate says defensively.

"I'mma let that slide for right now since you only have about an hour before we start showing up."

Shit. An _hour?_ Her eyes flick to the clock on her nightstand. It was already nine o'clock. She hadn't even texted him yet.

"You did text him, right?"

"I didn't realize it was so late. It'll be fine, though." It has to be. She wasn't throwing this party for her health.

"What about that dress you picked up when we went shopping three weeks ago?"

Of course. She'd completely forgotten about that. Her hands land on plastic as they fumble in the back of her closet. She pulls it out and removes the plastic from the hanger.

"It's perfect," she says as her fingers skim the material. She'd bought it on a whim, at some half-off sale at an outlet. It was strapless black lace, cut just above her knee.

"Great. Now hang up the phone and text writer-boy so your whole night isn't ruined." Lanie admonishes.

"Thanks, Lanie." Kate ends the call and shoots Castle a text.

* * *

><p><em>Sorry to bail on the party. I'm done with dinner if you want to come over to watch a movie or something. It's the least I can do.<em>

Castle grins, a little lighter. He'd been really disappointed after she turned him down earlier (especially after her little hint yesterday). Maybe a movie night was just what he needed.

After promising he'd be there in an hour, he shuts his laptop and changes into a pair of dark jeans and a blue button-up.

He saunters into the living room to find Alexis and Martha curled under a blanket, watching a rom-com.

"We just started if you liked to join us, Richard."

Alexis eyes glance over him. "I think he has other plans, Gram." She teases.

"As a matter of fact, Detective Beckett invited me over to watch a movie." He grabs a bottle of water from the refrigerator and twists the cap off easily.

"Is that what they're calling it these days?"

"Mother." Castle warns, taking a sip of water. He'd never admit it, but he was quite anxious about the whole thing. He'd always just shown up. This was the first time she'd invited him, that she _asked_ for his company. It had to mean something.

Didn't it?

"We won't wait up."

Castle throws Martha a glare and kisses Alexis's forehead. "Goodnight, Pumpkin."

"Until tomorrow, Dad." He smiles, touched. He ruffles her hair a little, lost in sentimentality.

"For God's sake, Richard. Detective Beckett's going to grow old waiting for you to show up." Martha rolls her eyes.

Castle startles. Right. "I'm going."

He takes a deep breath and grabs his coat.

When he knocks on her door, he can feel it. A spark in the air. Tonight, things would change.

When she swings the door open, he feels the air whoosh out of his lungs. She's a vision in black and lace, hair perfectly tousled in a dance down her shoulders.

She bites her bottom lip through a smile, eyes shining.

"Hi, Castle."

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><p>I had every intention of writing a Christmas or New Years fic, but time got away from me, which is why I'm writing this. I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday.<p>

_Olivia_


	2. Chapter 2

_I love the Castle fandom._

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><p>Her palms are a little sweaty as she holds the doorknob tightly in her hand at her hip. She doesn't want him to see everyone inside yet, wants the full effect.<p>

"You look…" he trails off, shaking his head. Speechless. She bites the inside of her cheek, suppressing a laugh. She never thought she'd see the day.

"Come on," she says, nodding her head towards the inside of the apartment. She steps aside and swings the door open all the way this time.

"Surprise!" Castle jumps a foot in the air as the gang yells in unison. Kate grins, gauging his reaction. She isn't disappointed.

"You guys really shouldn't have." He smiles sincerely, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"And keep listenin' to you complain about your party? No thanks, bro." Esposito gripes, eyes smirking nonetheless.

"It was all Beckett's idea," Ryan adds, throwing a knowing glance between the detective and her shadow.

Castle's eyes find hers. His look leaves her breathless. She watches his hand twitch at his side. He opens his mouth to say something and move a little closer to her, but she can't. Not now. It isn't time.

She runs a hand through her hair anxiously and pastes a smile on her face. "Beer, anyone?" She makes a show of fiddling through the refrigerator, hand grasping the neck of a bottle. When she pulls it out, Castle is in the middle of an animated conversation with Esposito and Ryan.

"What the hell was that?" Kate jumps slightly and turns to meet Lanie's disapproving stare.

"What do you mean?" She twists the cap off her drink and takes a sip.

"You're playing me for a fool if you think I didn't notice that little moment between you and Castle just now." Lanie folds her arms across her chest.

"There wasn't a…moment." Lie.

"There was until you got all uncomfortable and spent five minutes rooting around in your refrigerator."

Kate sighs. "Give me a break."

Lanie shakes her head. "When are you gonna give _him_ a break, Kate? It's been long enough, don't you think?" she asks quietly. Kate's eyes left hers and trailed over to watch him.

"I just…" She hesitates. "What if I mess it up? Jump in before I'm ready?" She stares at the beer in her hand, hair framing her face, blocking her from Lanie's view.

"You two have been dancing around each other for four years. I don't think it's possible for you to _jump_ into anything." Lanie says wryly. Kate's laugh is caught in her throat. She swallows roughly.

"This is it, Lanie. This…" she trails off, shakes her head. She looks over at Lanie, forcing back tears. "It's everything," she whispers hoarsely.

She looks over at him again. He laughs at something Ryan says and meets her gaze, smile slowly falling off his face. He looks concerned, pained even. He wants to comfort her, soothe her wounds. She can see it in his eyes. She shakes her head slowly. She's fine. Later. His shoulders sag slightly in disappointment, betraying the new smile he's plastered on his face.

She realizes with a start that Lanie's witnessed the entire silent exchange.

"If you keep pushing him away, that—" she gestures with a tip of her head towards Castle, "is going to happen more often. Mark my words, girl. You're too busy worrying about the future. You can't even see how much he's hurting _now_."

A tiny shiver trickles down Kate's spine. Was Lanie right?

She inhales sharply. She can't deal with this now. Not now, in front of everyone. She needs to talk to Castle, needs to get him alone. Lay it all out on the table. She glances at the clock. Only 10:30. She looks at Lanie again, who's staring at Esposito with a look that Kate can't quite place.

"You should take your own advice, you know." Kate says quietly, walking off to join the boys.

* * *

><p>She's strangely quiet when she comes over to join them. She laughs a little, at all the right spots, but something's missing. Her mind is elsewhere. He can see it in the light in her eyes, in the lines around her mouth. Something's wrong.<p>

He won't bring it up now—not after the brush-off (was it a brush-off?) he'd received when she'd been deep in conversation with Lanie. He notices that she sneaks glances when she thinks he isn't looking. At one point, she cocks her head, as if trying to decipher _him_. She's making him nervous.

"..and then he toppled right outta his chair, man. Remember, Beckett?"

"Hmm?" Kate hums, eyes snapping to Esposito's. She didn't hear a word he said and he knows it. Esposito's eyes flick to Castle's, eyebrows raised. Castle shrugs.

"Sorry, Espo. Guess I'm just a little out of it tonight," She forces a small smile, apologetic.

"We should probably head out anyway," Ryan offers. Castle sees the worry in his eyes, can tell that he isn't buying it.

"Guys, I'm fine. Stay. It's barely even eleven." She waves Ryan's offer away with her hand. Castle frowns. Surely….he checks his phone. It's nearly midnight.

"It's late. Jenny has to get up early and she'll probably be up waiting for me…" Ryan trails off, throwing Esposito a look.

Esposito clears his throat. "Right, yeah. Gates'll have my head if I'm late again, so I should get my ass to bed." The inflection in his voice reads almost like a question. He doesn't understand what's going on. Castle chuckles behind his hand.

Kate nods absentmindedly. She doesn't even try to argue. She wants them out, Castle realizes, immediately sober. Lanie left shortly after Kate joined them, muttering something about a rush on an autopsy. But as she was leaving, Castle watched her cast a longing look towards Esposito and close the door on a sigh.

"I suppose I should go, too," he says reluctantly.

"No!" He startles a little at her insistence.

"I mean…" she trails off, collects herself. "Just a few more minutes?"

Ryan leads Esposito out the door, promising to see them in the morning. Kate watches the door close behind them and sighs as if she'd been holding her breath the whole night.

She turns to him slowly, eyes focused and clear now.

"Let's talk, Castle."

* * *

><p><em>A little short, I know. Sorry. One chapter after this.<em>

_I know everyone leads busy lives, but this is on a decent amount of alerts/favorites. As a reader who doesn't always click on stories with low review counts, I can only conclude that others have this mindset as well, and might not read my story because of the low review count. Whatever you may think about it, love or hate, I'd appreciate it. I promise not to ask again._

_Olivia_


	3. Chapter 3

_Hmm._

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><p>"Let's talk, Castle."<p>

"Are you okay? You've been off all night." She'd done a shoddy job of pretending like everything was fine, she knew that much. He could read her like the back of his hand.

Of course, Ryan and Espo had noticed too, so she supposed that wasn't saying a whole hell of a lot.

"I want to apologize. I had every intention of showing you a good time with this party after you kept canceling and then it kind of turned into a mess." She frowns. Everything would've been fine if Lanie had just kept her thoughts to herself.

Actually, that was probably a lie. Shit had to hit the fan sooner or later.

"A mess? What are you talking about?" He asks, seeming genuinely confused.

"Just…the way Lanie walked out of here, the way I brushed you off earlier…" she trails off, shrugs it away as if it could be that easy.

"You didn't…." He sighs. "It's fine, Kate."

She can tell from his tone that it isn't fine. He looks worn down, exhausted. Tired of waiting.

"It isn't fine, Rick." She swears his spine straightens a little at the use of his first name. "What Lanie and I discussed…" She hesitates. "I just wanted to wait until everyone left to talk to you about it. Because as good as her intentions are, as everyone's intentions are, it's none of their business."

"What isn't?" She can hear the slight desperation in his tone. He needs to hear her say it.

"_We_," she gestures to the space between them, "aren't any of their business." Her hand falls with a soft slap against the material of her dress.

"We…" he begins quietly, confused as if he can hardly believe the words coming out of her mouth. She can't really blame him for that.

"When I invited your over here tonight, I hadn't planned any on any of this. I hadn't planned on Lanie calling me out on how I've been treating you these last few months. I've been selfish and I'm sorry."

He shakes his head furiously and takes a few steps closer to her. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Kate. I told you I would wait. You need to take your time and sort things out and I get that."

She sighs. He thinks she has nothing to be sorry for, but he doesn't know the whole story, doesn't know everything she's kept from him, the secret she'd locked inside.

"I haven't been honest with you," she admits. Her eyes flick over his, waiting for something. What, she doesn't know. She isn't prepared for the empty blue eyes that stare back at her, waiting for a confirmation to what he'd been hinting at since the summer.

"You were right, Rick." She swallows hard, mouth dry. "I heard it—that day at the cemetery. I heard you say it." She holds her breath.

He's still for a moment, which scares her. She can deal with angry, but isn't sure how to handle a stoic-faced Richard Castle.

"Say it," he says quietly. She almost didn't hear him. She doesn't respond, unsure of what he means.

"Tell me what I told you." His voice is rough, like sandpaper, as if his voice strains under the emotion. He isn't indifferent at all. No, that was her mistake.

"Rick—"

"I need to hear you say it, Kate," His voice breaks slightly on her name and she knows she can't deny him again.

"I heard it. I heard you say, 'I love you'." She doesn't flinch, can't allow herself to hurt him further by finding a way out yet again.

"Why?" His question needs no explanation. She runs a hand through her hair on an exhale.

"I wasn't ready to give up my mother's case, Rick."

He frowns. "If nothing's changed then why are we having this conversation?"

She steps closer, grabs the sleeve of his shirt for stability, to keep him in the moment. She stares at the button on the cuff, rubbing a thumb over it.

"I wasn't ready then…" She takes a deep breath and forces herself to meet his gaze. "But I am now."

She allows a hand to cup his cheek. Her thumb brushes under a dark circle that rims his eyes, a mark she undoubtedly contributed to.

"Don't you think it's time?" she whispers as the light begins to trickle back into his eyes. She can see her reflection in them, as if he'd been waiting to find her all this time.

"I wanna tell you again." He confesses, as his hand goes to her hip, fingers splayed. He tugs her ever so closer.

"Tell me." She hears herself practically beg, doesn't care. She knows him, knows he can't deny her either. Her fingers curl around the lobe of his ear and down to the nape of his neck.

"I love you, Kate." He lets out a harsh laugh. "God, I love you." His words skitter across her face, leaving her aching.

She pushes her fingers against his neck gently, coaxing his head towards hers. He lets his forehead rest against hers, eyes closed. She feels his breath hitch as her lips skim the side of his face, resting on his eyelids.

"Open your eyes." She whispers against his skin, pulling back slightly. His eyes open slowly, shining with unshed tears.

"I love you." She doesn't whisper now, needs him to hear her loud and clear. "I love you so much, Castle." She shivers, body tingling with her confession.

"Kate," he lets out breathlessly, reverently, before melding his mouth to hers. She sighs, hand traveling through his dark locks. The hand on her hip travels across her back to wrap her even closer to him. She drinks him in slowly, languid as if they've got all the time in the world.

He pulls back slowly, presses a kiss to her forehead.

"You really know how to throw a party, Beckett." He teases. She feels him smile against her head.

She laughs, bringing her other hand up to circle his neck. His eyes find hers, shining with ease and love.

"Thank you," she says after a moment.

"For what?"

"Understanding," she says simply. She'd never expect anything less from him, to do so would undermine his character. But that didn't mean she deserved it, either.

"Always," he says softly, wrapping her in a hug. His mouth kisses the top of her head again. "Always."

* * *

><p><em>Ended up being more angsty than I had initially expected. I have an idea for an AU fic that I might start tomorrow. Trying to take advantage of break as much as I can before school starts. Look for it in the next few days. Haven't written one of those in a while, so we'll see where that goes.<em>

_Enjoy "Til Death Do us Part". I know I will. :)_

_Olivia_


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